Natalia Read online

  Good. It was good that she was mad at him. That was his plan, right? Make her think he was a jerk all over again so she’d keep her distance. Keep him from falling even more deeply under her spell so he wouldn’t spend the rest of his life on what ifs, yearning for a woman he couldn’t be with.

  And he would have let her pass if he hadn’t seen something else in her eyes when she looked at him. Hurt. He’d seen it eleven years ago and had been barely able to handle it then. But seeing it now, knowing he’d hurt her again? It ate at his guts like he’d taken a shot of acid.

  “What?” She yanked against his grip.

  “Can I just talk to you for a minute?” For the life of him he had no idea what he was going to say. He just knew he couldn’t let her go until he had erased all traces of pain from her expression.

  “Oh, now you want to talk?” She arched a dark brow at him. Her pursed lips were colored a deep red. He wondered how long he would have to kiss her before it wore off. “After hitting it and quitting it and blowing me off for two days, now you want to talk?”

  “I understand why you’re angry. I know I didn’t handle it well. I just –”

  “Really, what the fuck is up with you? Are you really that much of a sociopath that you’d be all helpful and nice to me just so I would sleep with you? And then afterward treat me like you barely know me?”

  His stomach twisted in a knot. His behavior was terrible. That it had been born of his own panic didn’t make any difference. “Of course not -”

  “Seriously,” she continued, “I really thought you had grown up into this amazing guy. I found myself wishing I could find someone like you in New York. I actually thought you were such a catch compared to all of the losers I’ve been dating. Marone, was I ever wrong. You’re the same asshole you were when you were nineteen. Except back then you still had a little bit of a conscience. Now that I’m not some inexperienced virgin you didn’t have any qualms about using me.”

  “Natalia, I promise you, it’s not like that. I know I didn’t handle it right. I was afraid-”

  “Afraid of what? That I was going to be so dickmatized by the great sex that I was going to fall madly in love with you and beg you to have a long distance relationship that would never work out?” Okay, she’d be lying if she said the thought never occurred to her, but she’d eat glass before she ever admitted it.

  “No, it’s because I was afraid I would be the one begging you!”

  She shook her head and looked up at him, confused.

  “Excuse me.” Someone, one of Trey’s cousins if he remembered correctly, squeezed by them.

  “Come on.” Still holding her arm, left bare by her sleeveless green dress, he skirted the main dining room and led her out the back door of the restaurant. The evening air was cool, and he could see goosebumps raise on her arms. He released her arm and raked his fingers through his hair as he struggled to figure out where to start.

  “Here’s the deal. I’ve only known you for four weeks, eleven years apart but - and I know this sounds stupid - but from the second I met you I felt, I don’t know-”

  “A connection?” She said softly.

  He huffed a chuckle. “I don’t know any other word to use.”

  “It’s so cheesy,” she laughed, “like something someone would say on The Bachelor. And if you feel this great connection, why the hell would you kick me out of your cabin and ignore me for the past few days?”

  She thought he was cheesy. Great. “You were right about one thing. I may be eleven years older, but I’m still that idiot nineteen year old who didn’t know what to do with what I felt for you. Bottom line, I’m crazy about you, and it scares the shit out of me.”

  “So, you push me away and act like an asshole. Makes sense.”

  She wasn’t giving an inch, and he couldn’t blame her. He released his hold on her wrist and his hand immediately felt cold. “I never claimed to be smart, particularly when it came to women. I just wanted you to know that I think you’re amazing, and I’m sorry I hurt you. Again.”

  Natalia’s breath hitched in her chest as she stared into his eyes. It occurred to her that this could be more bullshit - that he decided he wanted another trip around the block with her before she headed back to New York.

  But as she searched his blue eyes, she could see nothing but sincerity and regret. And a longing that she’d seen before.

  “You did hurt me.” His eyes flickered down to the pavement. “Mostly because I felt – feel - that connection too.”

  He reached out one hand to cup her cheek. She nuzzled into his palm like a kitten.

  “My strategy of acting like a dick and running away doesn’t seem to be working. So, what the hell do we do about it?”

  Tears stung the backs of her eyes as his lips curved in a rueful smile. She raised her own hand and rested it on his jaw. Her thumb skimmed along the faint stubble growing there, the rasp of it sent tingles up her arm. “All we can do is enjoy the time we do have together.”

  “It won’t be enough,” he whispered as he bent his head to hers and covered her mouth with his.

  Though hungry, there was something different in this kiss. A sweetness, a tenderness, as though he wasn’t just kissing her, he was making a memory. She twined her arms around his neck and let him back her into the wall of the building. The bricks were cool against her back, a sharp contrast to the heat of his big body pressing against her.

  She sucked his tongue into her mouth and stroked it with hers as her hands swept up and down his back. The warmth of his skin seeped through the fabric of his shirt. It wasn’t enough. She wanted - needed - to feel his bare skin against her hands as much as she needed her next breath.

  He must have felt the same because as she tugged his shirt from the waistband of his jeans so she could get at the hot skin underneath, he was tugging at the hem of her dress and sliding his hand up her thigh. It came to rest at the top and she gasped against his mouth as his thumb traced the edge of her panties.

  Then she moaned as his hand moved to cup her sex. Desire pulsed through her, sending a rush of moisture between her thighs. He ground his palm against her, and she arched against his hand, forgetting where they were. Unconscious of everything except his hungry mouth on hers and that pleasure giving hand between her legs.

  A flash of light and the sound of a horn blaring startled her into awareness. Ian jumped back, and she found herself caught in the beam of headlights of a truck that had pulled into the back parking lot of the restaurant.

  “Get a room!” the male driver of the truck yelled as Natalia yanked her dress down her thighs.

  Cheeks flaming, she grabbed her purse from where she’d dropped it on the ground and let Ian grab her by the hand and pull her back through the door of the restaurant. She gave a silent thanks to find the hallway empty.

  “We need to get out of here. My truck’s out front.” Ian said and started pulling her toward the front of the restaurant. He bypassed the dining room and was making a beeline for the front door before she stopped him.

  “Wait, we can’t just leave. I have to say goodbye to Cora and thank Trey’s parents.”

  Ian muttered something under his breath but let go of her hand and started towards the dining room.

  “You can’t go in like that,” she hurried after him. “I got my lipstick all over you. You look like Bozo the clown. And your shirt’s all untucked and your hair looks like a tornado hit.”

  He paused to scrub at his mouth, stuff his shirt tail back into his jeans and gave his hair a quick finger comb. “Better?”

  She nodded as she smoothed her own hair and tugged at the front of her dress. “How about me?”

  “Well your lipstick is gone, and your face is flushed like you just ran a fast mile.” There was little she could do about her flushed cheeks, but she fumbled in her purse for her tube of MAC Ruby Woo. As she smoothed the color on her lips, he leaned in and whispered, “And I don’t know if anyone else will notice, but you’ve got a serious
case of headlights going on.”

  It took her a moment to register, but when it did, she felt her cheeks burn even hotter. She risked a look down and sure enough, her nipples were hard points against the silk of her dress.

  “There you guys are.”

  Natalia crossed her arms tightly across her chest and turned to see Cora walking toward them. “Emily said you went to the bathroom, but I couldn’t find you in there.

  “I was feeling a little warm, so I just popped out the back for some air.”

  “I was just on my way back from the restroom,” Ian offered.

  Cora’s delicately arched brows knitted slightly as though she sensed something slightly off. “Ok. I was just trying to find you to let you know we’re meeting a bunch of people over at Copper Whiskey Bar for a couple of drinks.”

  Next to her she felt Ian stiffen. “That sounds really fun, but I think I need to get back.”

  Cora’s perfectly plucked brows pulled into a frown. “Really? You can’t just have one drink, Nat?”

  “I have to get up so early tomorrow, to make sure everything is ready. I really should get some rest.”

  “But how are you going to get home? You rode over with us and my parents are heading to the bar with us.”

  “I’ll take her,” Ian moved closer to her side. “I have a bunch of stuff to take care of tomorrow morning. I need to turn in early too.”

  Cora’s gaze darted between them. Her eyes narrowed slightly. and her lips curved into a knowing smile. Natalia knew the jig was up.

  “Ah,” Cora said with a nod. “Well in that case, you two enjoy your ‘rest’,” she raised her fingers in air quotes, “and I’ll see you in the morning.”

  She turned and started to walk away. “Don’t drink too much,” Natalia called after her. “You want to be radiant for the pictures.”

  “Guess we’re not fooling her,” Ian grumbled. “I wonder how long it will take for her to tell everyone our business.”

  “Do you care?” She moved close enough that her breasts brushed against the front of his shirt.

  “I guess I’m too old for my dad to give me an as whupping for messing with one of Cora’s friends, so no.”

  As eager as she was to leave with Ian, manners dictated a quick detour to thank Trey’s parents for a lovely evening before they hightailed it out to Ian’s truck. He opened the door for her. Her tight skirt and short stature made things difficult so he grabbed her by the waist and lifted her inside. He went around to the driver’s side and climbed in.

  As soon as the door slammed shut, he leaned across the bench seat and gave her a long, probing kiss. “Ok, now you go over to your side so I can focus on the road.”

  She did as she was told and rode with her hands curled into fists in her lap so she wouldn’t sneak one over to rest on his thigh. The drive from Bozeman to the ranch usually took twenty minutes. Tonight, he made it in twelve.

  Even so, to Natalia it felt like forever when all she wanted to do was scoot across the bench seat and crawl all over him.

  The truck screeched to a halt and sent gravel spraying as he pulled up in front of his cabin. She barely had her door open before he was there, lifting her out of the truck. One hand was around her back and one behind her knees as he carried her effortlessly up the front steps, through the front door.

  Across the threshold.

  Their eyes met for a moment, the significance not lost on either of them. A lump formed in her throat. In another life, another universe…

  He covered her mouth with his as he carried her into the bedroom and set her gently on her feet. Even though she could feel the eagerness radiating off of him, echoing her own, his kiss was tender, exploring. Like he was savoring her.

  His arms came around her and she felt a tug at her zipper. Her own hands went to the front of his shirt. A sharp tug and a popping sound filled the room as the snaps gave way.

  “Easy there, tiger,” he chuckled and shrugged the shirt off his shoulders and kicked off his boots. Natalia pulled the straps of her dress off her shoulders and let it puddle at her feet.

  She stood before him wearing nothing but a cream satin and lace bra, matching panties, and a pair of strappy high heeled sandals. He let out a low whistle as his gaze raked her from head to toe. “Dear Penthouse, you’re never going to believe this but…”

  She laughed as he moved closer and bent to take her mouth. She pressed herself against him as her tongue twined with his. She felt his hands between them, fumbling with his belt buckle and reached down to help. Seconds later he shoved his jeans and boxers down his legs in one fell swoop.

  He kicked them aside and pulled her close so she could feel the hot, hard press of his erection against her bare stomach. She wrapped her hand around him and felt his groan rumble through her. She felt a quick tug, then his hands brushing the straps of her bra down her arms.

  He gently moved her hand off him, holding it in his own as he kissed his way down her neck and chest. He bent his knees and continued south, pausing to lick and suck at each nipple until they were so hard it was almost painful, and she rocked unsteadily on her high heels.

  He knelt in front of her, his mouth open and hot on her stomach. He released her hands, hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her panties and dragged them down her legs.

  He kissed his way lower, until his lips rested at the top of the tidy patch of black hair at the top of her mound. Then lower, until she could feel the warmth of his breath caress her damp folds. A rush of wet heat flooded her sex as she quivered in anticipation.

  He parted her with his thumbs and bent his head to her. “Spread your legs a little for me, honey,” he whispered gruffly.

  She gripped his shoulders and somehow managed to step out of her panties without falling over. At the first touch of his tongue on her slick flesh, she threw her head back with a moan. His tongue circled her clit in firm strokes. Pleasure sizzled through her, making her knees buckle. Only his firm hold on her hips and her hands on his shoulders kept her from falling over.

  Sensing her precarious position, he urged her back toward the bed. As soon as she felt it behind her legs, she let herself fall back, legs spread, gaze focused on his dark head settling between her thighs.

  And oh, God, once again his lips and tongue were on her, in her. Driving her wild with every lick, every kiss, every stroke. She’d never felt like someone was so laser focused on her pleasure, seeming to know exactly how she needed to be touched before she knew it herself.

  Like how he knew the very second to slide one, then two fingers inside her, creating a delicious, thrusting pressure as he sucked and licked her clit. Her fingers tangled in his hair as she spread her legs wider, opening herself to him more fully. She was close, so close, every muscle pulled tight as she rocked herself against his mouth and fingers.

  “You’re so sweet,” he murmured against her. “The sweetest thing I ever tasted.” His lips closed around her clit and sucked firmly. Inside her, his fingers thrust deep. A harsh cry ripped from her chest as the first ripples of her orgasm pulsed through her. “That’s it,” he whispered. “I love the feel of you coming in my mouth.” His mouth and fingers were on her, in her, drawing the pleasure out until she collapsed against the mattress, limp as a rag doll.

  She was vaguely aware of him unbuckling her sandals and dropping them with a thunk to the bedroom floor. She raised up on her elbows and watched as he grabbed a condom from the bedside table. A faint pulse of awareness fluttered in her core as she he sheathed himself and came down over her.

  His body was hot against hers, trembling slightly as he urged her legs open and slid the blunt head of his cock between her slick folds. Instead of taking her hard and fast as she expected, he entered her in a slow, measured slide until he was seated fully inside her. He propped himself up on his elbows and cradled her head between his hands and just held himself there. “Natalia,” he whispered her name and took her mouth in a kiss so tender she felt tears burn the backs of her eyes.
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  When he lifted his head and looked down at her, his own eyes looked suspiciously shiny. They drifted closed as he bent his head to kiss her again. His hips rocked gently against her. She moaned and pulsed around him as she felt him go even deeper inside. He started moving then, in slow, measured thrusts that had her arching her hips off the bed. It didn’t take long for his restraint to slip, and soon he was taking her hard and fast as their mouths muffled each other’s moans.

  His muscles tensed against her as his thrusts turned fast and shallow. He reached between them and found her clit with his fingers, stroking her sensitive flesh so that when he went flying over the edge, she was right there with him.

  He collapsed onto the mattress and rolled to the side, pulling her firmly against him.

  She propped herself up on her elbow and studied his face, tracing the slope of his nose and the bold line of his jaw as though etching every detail in her memory.

  He cupped her cheek in his hand and stroked his thumb across her cheekbone. “What’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours?”

  “Like you said earlier, we’ve only known each other for four weeks out of our entire lives.” She shook her head, unsure of how much she should reveal. Then decided it wasn’t like she had anything to lose. “But I feel like I could spend another fifty years like this.” She felt a thousand cracks spider across her heart at the impossibility.

  He didn’t say anything, but his arms tightened around her so hard she could barely breathe, and he covered her mouth with a kiss that told her everything she needed to know. The cracks in her heart deepened, because she knew he felt the same.

  Chapter 8

  The sound of birds chirping woke Natalia at first light. She was immediately aware of the warm, hard body spooning her from behind. She closed her eyes against the morning light peeking through Ian’s curtains and snuggled closer. Memories of the night before bubbled to the surface, simultaneously filling her with joy and making her heart pinch at the thought of how little time they had left.