Run from Fear Page 22

  Talia sucked Jack’s tongue into her mouth, whimpering as he rocked his hips in careful, shallow thrusts. He was huge, hot, squeezing inside her tightness until pleasure danced on the edge of pain.

  She started to stiffen as old, ugly memories threatened to rear their heads. Rough hands holding her down, harsh breathing in her ear as the heavy weight pinned her to the mattress.

  “Talia,” Jack breathed in her ear. “You feel so good, so perfect.”

  The memories fled as she opened her eyes on Jack’s face. His eyes were squeezed tight, his face a mask of pleasured agony. “Jack.”

  His eyes opened at the sound of his name. Glittering hot, it felt like an electric current arced between them.

  “Jack,” she whispered again, reaching up to thread her fingers through his hair and pull his mouth down to hers.

  His skin was hot under her hands, his coarse chest hair rasping against her nipples in a way that sent jolts of pleasure coursing through her. Jack’s huge, strong body settling over her and oh, God, driving hard and deep inside of her.

  Heat sizzled through every cell as he kissed her lips, sucked her neck, whispered how good she felt, even better than he’d imagined.

  Talia wanted to tell him that before tonight, she wouldn’t have even been able to imagine feeling anything like the pleasure he was giving her. Never would have known it was possible to have her entire world center on the feel of his thick hardness inside of her, cramming her full but making her crave more.

  She moaned and felt the familiar tightening, heard his answering groan as her body squeezed and pulsed around him. He slid his hand between them and found her clit with his thumb. Rearing back on his knees, he circled and stroked in rhythm with his thrusts. Talia gripped the hard muscles of his ass in her hands urging him harder, faster…

  She came with a sharp cry, flying apart once again as pleasure burst between her legs and rippled through every nerve ending. Jack rode her through it, his pace slow and steady until the last pulse shimmered away.

  She looked up to see him poised above her, muscles tight, veins bulging through his skin with the force of his restraint. She dug her nails into his ass and slid her knees up either side of his rib cage. “Your turn,” she said with a smile.

  He flashed her a quick, almost pained smile in return and started to move in quick jarring thrusts that made her appreciate just how much he’d been holding himself back. He threw his head back and she felt him twitching and jerking inside her, bathing her with heat as he shuddered in release.

  He collapsed and rolled to the side, hauling her against him until they were glued breast to chest, so close a light particle couldn’t get between them. “You okay?” he whispered.

  Was she okay? She was better than okay. With his one hand sliding up and down her back and the other combing through her hair, she felt warmer, safer, better than she had in years. Maybe ever.

  And that was even before she factored in the languid relaxation that came from two back-to-back orgasms.

  As far as she was concerned, she could spend the rest of her life in this bed with him and be perfectly happy.

  Jack seemed to agree, and within a few breaths he’d drifted off to sleep. Talia lay there, her ear pressed to his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. He was the most amazing person she’d ever known, and tonight he’d proven himself to be the most patient, gentle, satisfying lover a woman could ever ask for.

  She’d fought to keep him out of her life, certain she didn’t need him, convinced he could only make her miserable as he served as a living reminder of everything she’d struggled to leave behind.

  But the past had come back to haunt her, and once again he proved to be the only one she could count on to get her out of the muck. The only one she wanted to count on.

  He would go back to Seattle when this was over, she reminded herself. He’d made no promises, made no claims to his emotions other than that he wanted her.

  He wanted her. Nothing more and nothing less than the few that had come before, except he was a lot less selfish about it.

  He wanted her, and tonight she’d realized she wanted him right back. The discovery should have made her happy, should have brought her comfort and reassured her that contrary to her fears, she really was capable of feeling desire, of having amazing sex with this amazing man.

  And it would have, had she not had another terrifying realization.

  She was in love with Jack Brooks.

  Admitting it to herself, even in her head, was so terrifying it propelled her up and out of the bed. She grabbed blindly and snatched up the first article of clothing she could find—Jack’s shirt. She wrapped it around herself and darted from the room, down the hall and up the stairs to her own room. She closed and locked the door behind her before climbing onto the bed.

  She curled up against the headboard, calling herself a hundred kinds of idiot as pure, icy panic made her heart pound and her stomach churn. She didn’t even realize she was crying until she saw the drops hit her bare knees and reached up to feel where the wetness was coming from.

  Even as some rational part of her brain tried to remind her that this was Jack she was talking about, not a monster in disguise like David Maxwell, it couldn’t drown out the steady lament of “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.”

  She was so stupid, thinking sex was the biggest stumbling block. Good for her, she could have orgasms.

  But she couldn’t allow herself to be vulnerable again. Couldn’t go back to that place where her entire world revolved around a man who might turn on her at any moment. Couldn’t let herself be under someone’s thumb, dependent on a man for her happiness and security.

  She’d worked too hard to put her life back together, and she couldn’t afford to risk it on an emotion that had nearly destroyed her in the past.

  She couldn’t trust anyone—not even Jack—with her heart.

  Chapter 16

  By the time Jack reached out a hand to stop her, Talia was already out the door and halfway down the hall.

  Shit. Goddamn it.

  He should have known it was too good to be true. It was too much to hope that tonight’s breakthrough would be the beginning of something—finally—between the two of them.

  Not that he expected her to just flip a switch, sleep with him and be good to go with happily-ever-after, but was it too much to ask her not to go sprinting from the room before the sheets even got cold?

  Screw it. From the second he’d realized he had it bad for Talia Vega, he’d known there was no hope. So it should be no problem to just go back to normal.

  And hey, at least he had the added bonus of relieving the unrelenting sexual frustration that had dogged him for the past week straight. Although, given his body’s swift and eager recovery from an orgasm that had nearly made him black out, he had a bad feeling this was going to be one of those one tastes that only makes you crave more.

  Fuck.

  And they were no closer to catching the shithead who was tormenting her, so he was stuck here for the foreseeable future.

  But really, what happens when you do find the guy? You really going to just tuck your tail in between your legs and run back to Seattle without a fight?

  Everything in him rebelled at the thought of simply packing up and heading back to Seattle. Alone.

  Jesus, when had he turned into such a pussy? He’d never shied away from a fight in his life.

  Yeah, but taking down a couple Taliban soldiers is nothing compared to dealing with the damage Talia’s already suffered.

  But he had to try, he thought, swinging his feet over the side of the bed and pulling on his boxers before he was even conscious of moving. He didn’t know exactly what he was going to do as he climbed the stairs, only that he couldn’t leave it like this.

  Tonight Talia had been able to overcome her demons enough to turn to him. She felt it, too, this thing between them. She might not be ready to admit it was love, but she couldn’t say it was nothing. An
d Jack wasn’t going to let her run away from it, especially when it could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to both of them.

  He raised his hand to knock. When she didn’t answer, he tried the doorknob and found it locked. “Talia, come on, let me in.”

  “Go away.”

  “Dammit,” Jack said, unable to keep the irritation from his voice, “you can’t just run off like nothing happened.”

  “It doesn’t have to mean anything, Jack. It doesn’t have to be important.”

  “It’s important to me,” he said with another thump on the door. “Really fucking important.” He waited several more seconds. “Come on, Talia, please open the door.”

  There was no movement. He contemplated the consequences of picking the lock. Just as he’d decided he could live with them, he heard her footsteps and the spring of the lock popping on the doorknob.

  His irritation evaporated at the sight of her tear-streaked face and swollen, trembling mouth. With his shirt swallowing her up and hanging down past her knees, she looked small and so fragile a stiff wind could sweep her away. “I’m sorry, Jack,” she said in a tight whisper. “I can’t do this. I thought I could do this…”

  Jack pulled her into his arms, ignoring her stiffness and the way she held her arms up between them. He should have seen this coming. Talia had been shut down physically for so long, it made sense that the first time she finally let someone in—literally and figuratively—she would freak out.

  He just had to keep proving to her that no matter what happened, she was safe with him.

  “It’s going to be okay, Talia,” he said, stroking her hair. “We’ll take things slow.”

  “You don’t understand,” she said, shoving at his chest. “I can’t do this again. I can’t let anyone in. I can’t let anyone hurt me.”

  “I’m not going to hurt you,” Jack said, holding her tighter when she tried to pull away.

  “I know that,” Talia whispered against his chest. “Logically, I know that, but there’s something wrong with me. Something I can’t fix. Tonight, for a minute there, I thought we could fix it, but it only made me realize how broken I really am.”

  Jack grabbed her by the shoulders and held her away enough that he could look in her face. “You are not broken.”

  She pulled away from him. “How can you say that when you know exactly what I’ve done, what I am?” She turned away from him, and he saw her arms moving but didn’t realize she was unbuttoning her shirt until she slid it off her shoulders and down her waist. “Isn’t this proof enough?”

  The scars were white, puckered lines against the honey gold of her skin. Even now, the sight of them was enough to make fury boil in Jack’s blood. He wished, as he had a thousand times, that he’d been the one to kill Nate Brewster for the damage he’d done to her body. That he’d been the one to kill David Maxwell for the damage he’d done to her soul, making her feel cheap and used. Exploiting her love for her sister to manipulate her into doing things that continued to eat at her conscience until she felt unworthy of love and happiness.

  Broken.

  “And that sick piece of shit, whoever he is,” she said, almost to herself, “it’s like he wants to remind me exactly who I am and what happened.” Her breath caught in a sob that made his chest squeeze. “Like I don’t remember every goddamn day when the ugliness is carved in my skin.”

  Jack stepped closer and reached out to stop her when she would have pulled the shirt back up to cover her back. Slowly, as carefully as if she were a wild animal he wanted to touch, he traced his fingers down the length of one scar. “When I see you, I don’t see broken, and I sure as hell don’t see ugly,” he said, his voice rough.

  “Don’t,” she whispered, but she didn’t pull away when he landed a kiss on the smooth skin of her shoulder. His lips parted and he sank to his knees as he ran his lips and tongue across her back, along the length of one scar.

  He could feel her tremble, hear her breath speeding up as he slid his hands around her waist and kissed his way across to her right hip and followed the other scar back up to her shoulder. He pulled her back against him and slid his arms around her waist.

  He nuzzled his face in her neck and whispered, “When I look at your scars, when I remember what you went through, it reminds me how brave you are, how loyal. How much you love your sister that you’d do anything to protect her.” He straightened to his full height and pulled the shirt back over her shoulders.

  Talia let out a little sob and turned in his arms. “I’m just afraid—all I know is that caring about someone makes me weak, makes me stupid,” she sobbed against his chest. “The last time I was with someone, he ended up controlling everything. I’m afraid of letting myself be that way again, even with you.”

  Jack leaned down until his forehead touched hers. “You aren’t stupid, and you aren’t weak. And I don’t want to control you. Protect you, yes.” He shoved aside the little tickle of guilt that she might not see the distinction if she ever discovered that he’d “invested” in Susie’s restaurant and that he’d been secretly keeping tabs on her for the past two years.

  “I just want to be with you, Talia, that’s all. I’m not going to push you into anything you’re not ready for,” he said, sounding like a broken record. “But it could be good between us. Really fucking good.”

  She shifted against him, and he could feel his skin heat, his muscles tighten at the feel of her bare breasts against his chest. “Try to let go and we’ll see what happens. Just be with me.”

  Talia didn’t answer, her breath stuck in her throat at the feel of his hot breath on her neck, the growing hardness of him against her stomach. She wasn’t sure she could let go, wasn’t sure she knew how. Just be with me.

  It couldn’t be that easy, especially with someone like Jack, with the strength and the will to run roughshod over her if she wasn’t careful. But when had he ever pushed her into doing anything she didn’t want to do?

  When had he ever gone behind her back and manipulated her into a corner until she had no other choice than to do what he demanded?

  Just be with me.

  A simple request, calling up the answering yearnings in her heart and her body that had been buried for so long under the black muck of her past. She’d had a taste of paradise tonight before the demons reared their ugly heads.

  She wanted it again. She didn’t want to let the demons win. What she felt for Jack had to be stronger. And as she looked up into Jack’s face, his blue eyes full of emotions she was still too scared to name, she realized that if she was with Jack, she wouldn’t be fighting alone anymore.

  Still, she felt as if she were sailing over the edge of a cliff as she wound her arms around his neck. “I’m scared,” she said softly.

  “Me too,” he breathed against her lips right before they came down on hers. And then there was nothing but heat and need curling low in her belly as his tongue slid against hers and he pulled her hips against his.

  He backed up until the backs of his knees hit her bed. She reached down and shoved his boxers down his hips. He sat down on the edge of the mattress and pulled her down to straddle his lap. The thick head of his cock brushed the inside of her thigh and she felt a rush of heat and wetness between her legs.

  Already her body was throbbing in anticipation and she marveled at this new craving to touch and be touched, this need to take his body inside hers. She reached between them and wrapped her hand around him, loving the way his breath hitched as he bucked his hips. He was as big and powerful here as he was everywhere else, and if she hadn’t already known how good he would feel in her, she might have been intimidated.

  “Please,” he groaned as he ran his hands restlessly over her body. “I need you so much.”

  He pulsed in her hand and she guided him to her core, rubbed him against her slick heat until they were both panting and shaking, their kisses almost frantic now.

  Finally, when neither of them could take more teasing, she drew up
on her knees and sank down, taking him all the way inside with a low sigh. He touched her everywhere, his hands on her back, sliding down to her hips as his lips nipped and sucked at hers. Skin on naked skin, sweat slicked and flushed with need.

  He bent his head and took her nipple between his lips, sending a shock of pleasure straight to her core. Her orgasm hit her then, with such speed and force it ripped a startled cry from her chest.

  Jack wasn’t far behind. Afterward, he pulled her down next to him, covered them up with the quilt, and wrapped his arms around her tight, like now that he had her where he wanted her, he was never going to let her go.

  And for the first time in her life, Talia couldn’t find a single reason why she’d want to escape.

  The alarm shrieked them awake at four in the morning. Talia shot straight up in bed and had a moment of confusion when she found herself totally naked. When she would have swung her legs over the side of the bed, strong arms pulled her back.

  Still muddled with sleep, she started to fight, thrashing and punching.

  “Talia, stop!”

  Jack’s voice penetrated the panic and calmed her down a degree. “What’s going on?” she asked in a shaky whisper. In the dark she could barely see the outline of Jack’s broad shoulders leaning over her. “That’s the alarm,” she said stupidly.

  “I know,” Jack whispered, and reached over to turn on the bedside lamp. “And I want you to stay up here while I check it out.”

  Jack was a badass, but if someone was still here, she didn’t want him taking them on alone and unarmed. “The police will be here soon,” she protested. “Let’s just wait.”

  Jack was already out of the bed and pulling on his discarded boxer shorts. “No way. If the fucker is anywhere near here, I’m going to take him down.”

  She didn’t like it, but she could tell from the hard set to his features there would be no arguing with him.

  “Do you still have your Taser?”